Marriage Counseling for Married Couples
Familiarity is often a result of the time that you have been together as a married couple. Married couples have to be careful that this familiarity will not become a fuel for the breakdown of their marriage. If you judge the actions of your spouse without communicating to him/her, then you will tend to react to the inferred cues. For marriage to work, both parties must be willing and able to cultivate a certain level of receptiveness before responding. Cues are simply perceived innuendos that you yourself have made or have established because of a seemingly concurrent pattern that you have assembled yourself. While it is true that certain cues are a form of non verbal communication, it is not good to rely only on these because there is such a thing as a real communication which is dynamic and changes according to the needs of the other person. Merely relying on non-verbal cues is damaging to a marriage so instead you should replace it with good communication.
So, if we are always reacting to cues instead of being patient, kind, gentle and using our intuitive intelligence, we act like uncivilized people reacting to mere cues.
We need to learn how to let go of our reactive self and re-connect ourselves to our cognitive capabilities so that with mindfulness on our side, we can gradually resist that powerful emotion that tends to shut our rational consciousness.
Another fatal detractor to marriage is our entitlement mindset. This attitude of thinking that one deserves something from the spouse is a source of the conflict between spouses because this is a mental outlook characterized by someone having a legal right over something. It is not wrong to want something from your spouse, but demanding it as if it is your legal right is another thing. The best way to deal with this is to lessen your expectation of the other person, and learn to appreciate the good things that you find in the other person. There has to be an intentional looking at the good things for both partners to do and soon they will see that having this relationship is not too bad after all.
If a couple is willing to give their marriage a chance but is not able to do it themselves, then it is best for them to seek a third party to help them out in their desire. If partners seek the help of a marriage counselor and therapist, they might still give their marriage another chance of improving their relationship.