Things We Hate, Vol. 1
by Sir Awesome & Sarah Brown

You know what I hate? When someone says, "Hi!" and you say, "Fine!" because their face or tone of voice or your own screwed up head led you to believe they said, "How are you?"

You know what I hate? That the women who work at department store make-up counters wear those lab coats. What are they, perfume sprayer by day, physicist by night? Does it takes a PhD to trowel on all that wrong shade of foundation?

You know what I hate? When you open a package of cheese slices or cardboard box of cereal for the first time, and you accidentally tear it, rendering its self-closing mechanism useless for the duration of the time you have the food. Great! New food that's BOUND to spoil! That makes me so mad I actually turn into a baby and stomp my foot and want to cry.