Commercial: Sarah Jessica Parker & Lenny Kravitz Need Spending Money
September 15, 2004

Yes, the Gap thinks it's 1986 and America wants pastels for president. Who better to represent unflattering clothing than a person who wears ugly shit all the time, Ms. Sarah Jessica Parker? By the way, that's not make up on her face. It's thirty years of cigarette tar.

But what about us dudes, right? The Gap needs to sell men's clothing to people other than lesbians, so who do they get to match Ms. Parker's 4' 11” stature? Ah yes, Lenny Kravitz, who found time to do the commercial amidst his hectic schedule of sleeping with white chicks. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you two people who don't make me want to buy anything.

For future commercials, at least tell Lenny to plug in his guitar. Any way you slice it, electric guitars don't make electric noises without some sort of amplification. Dumbass. But what's done is done. Lenny, cash your check and go buy another hideous pair of Bono sunglasses. And to Ms. Parker and your vicious circles, you've got your money; now get rid of the chin wart.